Monthly Archives: January 2010

The Nerve To Say “Heart”

Last night I was out with some of the neighborhood crew and one of the women there was really digging for some sort of information, or a sort of admittance, you could say….

“Why did you like that girl?” she asked me, and I meekly said something along the lines of her being nice and having similar hobbies. She nodded and it was a non-issue…

Later she asked some fellows what he likes in women and the guy had the nerve to say that he likes a woman’s “heart.”

Unfortunately at this point I had had a few drinks and was willing to say the butcher’s truth of it.

“Everyone likes women’s hearts, but if that were true fat girls would have men tripping over each other to date them. Ugly people have the best hearts –probably not because they are good hearted people, but probably because experiences resulting from their ugliness has made them the most empathetic of people, and because if ugly people were mean and hot tempered, who would they ever be friends with?”

After I said this I got a round of high fives from all of the women present, and the men vaguely scowled at me.

I told them what matters to me, first and foremost, is the happiness I get from someone, and part of that happiness is the concept of sexual attraction and status — you want someone who both turns you on and also builds your status as a person. Of course, a part of ‘happiness’ is also how nice and good hearted a person is, but who would want to be with a person who gets you made fun of because they are so overweight or unattractive, and who you cannot be sexually excited about?

As I have gotten older the physical standard has dropped, certainly, but the fact is that I am not going to marry a pumpkin shaped woman unless I have no other recourse. The last thing I want to spend the rest of my life doing is going into the workplace or walking around a mall having people wonder why a non-morbidly obese man is with a morbidly obese woman. Yes, I love the Tao Teh Ching and I love non-conformity but that does not mean I would not be upset if everyone around me thought I had some sort of mental problem.

I just would like people to no longer utter such contemptuous lies.

Saying that you’re attracted to women or men by their hearts? Are you kidding me?

Oh, yeah, sure, I like nice people as much as the next guy but I have something also called integrity.

I am not going to be such a brazen hypocrite because I am no longer a teenager who thinks people believe the lies.

And I simply do not have the gall to make statements to people who are disadvantaged by their physical presence that really, truly, I am not with you because you are ugly… I am just not with you because I value people’s hearts.

In an odd way that is so ironic — it is almost as if by saying we value people’s hearts with our words we are taking away the one advantage the ugly have…

Believe that people truly love other people for their hearts long enough and then you get a world full of ugly people with bad hearts. Oh, the irony!

On that note, I think this circumstance best summarizes my opinion:

An overweight 14 year old girl looks up to her father and says,

“What do you look for in women, dad?”

“I look for women with good hearts… But, really, if you want a boyfriend you should go jogging, dear.”

UK Grandmother Disgusted By Filthy Hospitals

An interesting story out of the UK concerning hospital conditions:

A grandmother was so disgusted by the filthy conditions and neglect on a hospital ward that she bathed and cared for the patients herself.

Janet Halsall, 74, was admitted to Hinchingbrooke Hospital in Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire, for three days to have a scan on her liver, when she was shocked to see staff repeatedly ignore pleas for help and leave fellow elderly patients to ‘fend for themselves’.

The kind-hearted pensioner was so appalled by the conditions in the hospital that she bathed, washed and tucked in the frail elderly patients herself.

Daily Mail

Every system has its flaws.

I think a lot of anecdotal stories can come out on both ends and, bureaucratically, we are going to be doomed to a health care system that is flawed.

Consider that humans in the UK and in the USA live longer lives than humans have ever lived, on average…

Can it really get any better than it currently is?

Criticism Over Obama Nuke Spending

This is rather interesting — apparently Pres. Obama thinks that the Nukes are more important than President Bush. I see this as being rather embarrassing to the White House.

I also will say that I generally agree with lots of spending on nuclear weapons; our current wars involve most conventional forces fighting guerrilla and terrorist insurgents. It does not make much sense to me other than making the tensions with the Russians potentially worse:

‘Nobel Peace Prize-winner Barack Obama ups spending on nuclear weapons to even more than George Bush’

President Obama is planning to increase spending on America’s nuclear weapons stockpile just days after pledging to try to rid the world of them.

In his budget to be announced on Monday, Mr Obama has allocated £4.3billion to  maintain the U.S. arsenal – £370million more than George Bush spent on nuclear weapons in his final year.

The Obama administration also plans to spend a further £3.1billion over the next five years on nuclear security.

Mail Online

It would make more sense to spend more money on disposing of more of the nukes if his stance is to rid the world of them.

On Human Freedom & Friendship

On a Black Metal forum that I visit there is an ‘Ask J. M. Verville’ thread. Here is one of the better questions and my response:

electricprophet said:
Dear, J. M. Verville

What are your thoughts about freedom, and do you think that people will ever be truly free to live their lives as they choose ?

First: all people are born free. I subscribe to the Sartre school of thought that we are damned to be free. the only thing that governs us are physical laws.

Observe young children: they have no concept of law. They are selfish. They go where they want and do what they want. It is possible for people to be liberated as such and become what Ernst Junger refers to as an anarch, a person who lives within society yet ignores the laws and does as they please and as their heart.

There are some people who do amazing things that are even against their instincts — people who commit martyrdom for a losing cause; people who take vows of celibacy; people who go on hunger strike; hell, people who commit suicide.

However, you will see that there are many people who aren’t free.

Even the most individualistic person will sometimes put on a suit and tie and go to work.

You have met the political idealists who are forced to do all manner of things against their ideals. Continue reading

Dream #2

This dream was shorter.

I had some sort of motorcycle with a lot of belongings in it; I showed up at what looks like one of the homes in North Fargo, and I go into a basement. The basement is both a party and a convenience store. At some point me and some people decide to leave. On the way out I find two trash bags full of random American candy. One of them has ‘Red Hots’ in it and me and someone else wonder how we can steal it, but instead we steal nothing other than what we ate there and go out.

My motorcycle had become an incredibly small things that I could actually not ride or sit on, and we went to a different place nearby. Old people were outside on chairs enjoying the day even though it was overcast.

I owned a puppy — it was a female but someone remarked how it was ugly and looked like a male.

The dog pooped in the yard and a man I know who will only be identified as “1”. ran up to it and fell face first in the poop, and then ate it like G. G. Allin. I thought that he thought it was mud. We then started wrestling and people were laughing, and I started getting dog feces everywhere. Then a lot of people I knew who I wrestled with a week or so ago all showed up, and we quickly began wrestling in a group and the dog feces they thought was mud spread to absolutely everyone.

My last thoughts were that I hope no one finds out that this is my dog’s feces, or that I knew it was dog feces and did not prevent this from occurring, though I do not consider it my fault as I felt helpless and shocked.

1st Dream [of the journal]

I dreamed I was somehow involved in the filming of a television show. I was an actor with a minor rule. During this time, I fell in love with a woman who was very large chested and vaguely reminded me of the character Pam from the Office.

We feasted every night and got drunk frequently. We lived in a hotel, and also filmed the show there.

At some point Tyrion Lannister, a disfigured, short and deformed character from the George R. R. Martin series A Song Of Ice & Fire ended up murdering several people so the police came to investigate.

I was arrested along with several other people because we could not prove we had an alibi. My girlfriend was arrested, too.

During the police investigation I had to look through tons and tons of manila folders; one of them was a folder with official police documents telling me all sorts of charges I was being held on, from drunk driving to drunk in public to drunk and disorderly to resisting arrest, assaulting a police officer, unlicensed business practices and even a charge of unlawfully creating pornography with intent to distribute to minors even though none of these charges applied.

The punishment was that we would have to spend our days filling out dry work sheets and writing essays, reading material that told us why it is wrong to drink and drive, how alcohol is unsafe and how the Law is our friend and that we shouldn’t be involved in the porn industry without a license even though it was just going to be a regular show and I was not even the person writing or directing or starring in it.

At some point I realized that I knew what had happened and I knew where Tyrion Lannister was. I could simply tell them this truth and we would all be released and be safe. However, I thought that this would be immoral because I trust Tyrion had good reasons to murder whomever he did.

I grabbed the documents I could and I started running away from the Police. I fled somewhere, by myself, and a grandmotherly person helped hide me in her home. I felt worried and overwhelmed and I wanted some way to contact Tyrion Lannister so we could be fugitives together, and I somehow wanted to reunite with the other people who had been arrested.

I tried finding Tyrion but instead I started wandering the countryside with camping gear and I could never even find another person. It was like the old woman’s house was the end of the world, and beyond that point nobody lived. I kept going but the only interaction I had with other living things would be waking up surrounded by birds.

I cannot remember any further but I know that something is supposed to come after this.

Oh Jeez!

I lost my iPod, probably, and I do not got the money to replace it.

I feel like I am suffering but what is so hilarious is tht while I “suffer” 900 million people live in slums so bad they cannot even go to sleep feeling safe.  NOTE: al-Jazeera recenty reported that 900 million people live in urban slums.

I drink, drink, drink. I have been drinking for what? Not sure. I have been drinking since I was 16 or so.

I cannot afford to be comfortable in my own house – the heating bill is too expensive, and when it is summer the bill from the air conditioning is too expensive.

The Minnesota Vikings lost the NFC Division Championship and that really, actually hurts and occupies my thoughts. How could it come to be?

Oh, end.

UFC Star On Canadian Health Care System

It is interesting to hear a horror story about the Canadian health care system when we are told time and time again that it ought to be used to replace our own.

I have no doubt that both systems have their downsides but it is quite much to hear some of what happened to Lesnar:

 “Probably the lowest moment was getting care from Canada,” he said. “I hate to bash them, but … not to get on the political side of things, but our healthcare system is a little radical, but listen, we’ve got the best doctors in the world here. Our system does need some restructuring, but I don’t believe a total reform is the answer.

“They couldn’t do nothing for me,” Lesnar continued. “It was like I was in a third-world country. I just looked at my wife and she saved my life and I had to get out of here. I’m just stating the facts here, and that’s the facts. I love Canada. I own property in Canada, but if I had to choose between getting care in Canada or the United States, I’d definitely want to be in the United States.”

Lesnar wouldn’t reveal the name of the Canadian medical center where he received his initial care, but he said that machinery at the facility wasn’t working when the staff needed it. Continue reading

1억 원 든 현금 수송가방 날치기 당해

이런 소식이 재미 있다…

그런데 범죄자들이 바보처럼 했다. 물론 이렇게 돈을 훔치려하면 더 좋은 계획이 필요하다. 저렇게 쉽게 할 수 없다…

그런데 범죄자가 더 똑똑하면 돈을 훔치는 생각이 없을 것 같다:

서울 도심에서 1억 원이 든 현금 수송가방이 날치기 당하는 사건이 발생했습니다.

경찰은 오토바이를 타고 달아난 용의자 2명을 뒤쫓고 있습니다.

취재기자 연결합니다. 박홍구 기자!

소식 자세히 전해주시죠.


사건이 발생한 시각은 오늘 오전 9시 40분쯤 입니다.

서울 잠원동 고속버스터미널 경부선 대합실 앞에서 오토바이를 탄 20대 괴한 2명이 보안업체 직원들의 현금수송 가방을 날치기해 달아났습니다.

가방에는 5만 원권 1,000만 원과 만 원권 9,000만 원 등 모두 1억 원이 들어있던 것으로 파악됐습니다.

당시 가방은 손 모 씨와 박 모 씨 등 보안업체 직원 2명이 운반하고 있었습니다.

보안업체 직원들은 은행 현금지급기에 돈을 보충하기 위해 대합실로 들어가려던 순간 검은색 오토바이가 다가와 가방을 빼앗아 달아났다고 진술했습니다.

용의자들은 20대 중반으로 추정되고 있습니다.

2명 모두 검은색 옷을 입었고 한 명은 검정 헬멧을, 또 다른 한 명은 마스크를 쓰고 있었던 것으로 파악됐습니다.

경찰은 가방을 날치기해 오토바이를 타고 사평로 방향으로 달아난 용의자들을 뒤쫓고있습니다.


“서울서 7.0 강진 때 67만 명 사상”

 시뮬레이션의 결과를 보면 좀 무섭다. 내가4층짜리 건물에서 사니까 괜찮을 것 같다. 아주 높은 건물이 제일 위험한 것 같다…

시뮬레이션에 따르면 서울에서 아이티와 같은 규모 7.0의 지진이 발생했을 때, 전국적으로 사망자가 5만 명이 넘는 것이라는
결과가 나왔습니다.

또, 부상자도 62만 명이 넘을 것으로 시스템은 예측했습니다.

이재민은 47만 명이 발생하고, 건물은 전체 664만 3,000동 가운데 93만 동이 손실됐습니다.

특히, 서울에서는 전체 건물의 76% 가량이 붕괴되거나 부서질 것으로 나타났습니다.

물론 7.0 규모의 지진이 실제 서울에서 일어날 가능성은 크지 않습니다만, 전문가들은 과거 기록들을 봤을 때 규모 6.0 정도의 지진은 가능성을 배제할 수 없다며 경각심을 가질 것을 당부했습니다.


미국에는 지진이나 허리케안이 많이 있어서 특별한 규칙따라 모든 건물을 디자인해야하다. 그래서 우리 나라에서 더 안전한 것 같다. 특히 Miami나 Los Angeles가 자연재해 많이 당해서 안전한 도시 됐다.